Thursday, February 22, 2007

Random Leftover Tidbits of Nothingness

The only time I've ever seen men practically claw each other's eyes out to claim they ARE the father of an illegitimate child (swab my cheek! just SWAB IT ALREADY!) is when said kid very well might come with $800 million in her Golden Diaper. Poor underfed, pawnlike Dannielynne.

I'm not sure I can live in a world where KFed is the more FIT parent.

Here are some New Yorkers who never fail to make me nervous: The crackhead on the train whose house "burned down last week," who's been telling the same saw for two years. Well-dressed buskers. Teenagers. Jim Cramer.

A newspaper delivery person who can't manage to get a paper on my stoop by 6:30, when I'm leaving for the gym, needs to find a new job. If you can't get a jump on a journalist, I'm not sure how well early-morning employ suits you.

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