Wednesday, February 01, 2006

Bowls, and Bowls of Tequila

I'm back in the gray, drippy city of New York after my long weekend in Colorado, where the sun fries the corneas at least 300 days a year, magically stimulating endorphins and causing the sides of my mouth to twitch perpetually upward in something the locals out there call a "smile." I couldn't quite get used to it. So, what a relief to be back in a city that -- while so exciting and full of possibilities that it's nearly impossible to leave -- still manages to require the constant ingestion out of serotonin reuptake inhibitors. New York is like some bad drug that I really, really love, but I know I have to kick someday. Heroin, perhaps. (Not that I'm actually taking heroin; you gotta draw a line somewhere.) Guess that's why I've been trolling the Denver job boards ever since my return. Denver has a lot of openings for backhoe operators and exotic dancers, neither of which I have enough real skill to be. So, I'll keep looking.

But on to my trip report. Colorado apparently has the best snow it's had in 20 years, and after a few seasons of boarding I (and my lovely sister M.) were finally skilled enough to hit the back bowls of Vail. I've been to Vail before but always stuck to the front of the resort, and now I can't say enough about the back bowls (we went to Blue Sky Basin and China Bowl, and did a bunch of runs on the front of the mountain as well). Anyway, the back bowls basically aren't even runs; you're just kind of standing on top of an enormous mountain range that spreads out steep and wide in front of you as far as the eye can see, and you can go wherever the hell you want. And it's ALL POWDER! It's like wilderness boarding or something. I've never seen anything like it, especially on the glacially icy bumps that pass as east coast resorts (not that I'm not glad they're here, I am, I am, it's just -- it'll be hard to go back after boarding the best that Colorado has to offer).

After our first day at Vail, Mikki and I met up with a bunch of her (rich, single and apparently horny) coworkers who proceeded to pour free, high-quality tequila into my empty stomach for a few hours, licked salt off my neck and then *forced* me to stay up all night substance bingeing. This made for an interesting night that at one point left me and two of the said coworkers locked together in a supply closet at Vail (luckily, a staff member walked by and heard us pounding at the door); this is a long story. Anyway, I was sad to have missed the Black Table party but at least I got my fill of freeze booze etc. for the night.

Saturday I saw my friend K. at his awesome new loft in LoDo where he *forced* me to drain his wine rack all night (here I thought I was going to be all healthy in Colo). Sunday, I finally got to take it easy; K. and M. and I had lunch with K.'s dad -- appropriately for the Midwest, each entree was big enough to feed a pack of wolverines that just took hits off a gravity bong -- and then M. and I saw "Walk the Line." Monday was up to Copper, which I don't recommend unless you enjoy moguls, which, on a snowboard, I really don't.

Disheveled and still slightly drunk, I took the redeye back on Monday night and even managed to get asked out by another passenger, and not an unattractive one at that (although, really not my type). He and his friend even gave me and my board a lift in his town car from the airport. Now, that's a new one. But hey, I'm not gonna pass up a free ride in favor of the A train. Nosir.

Last night I even got a nice fat assignment to top off the trip. So, I better go write it. Adios.


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