Here. Have a Polar Bear.

Funny IM conversation of the week:

I have a friend who works at a company that is notorious for being niggling with its employees -- skimpy raises, long, acrimonious union battles, and the like. The ire felt for the corporate parent by its employees is thick. I share this ire, though the company shall remain nameless. This week my friend at the poorly-managed company IM'd me.

Friend: Time for a quick q?

Me: Sure.

Friend: I got the gift selection for 10 years at [crappy company], and every friggin gift sucks ass. so i'm wondering...

Me: Haha. How to sell it on ebay?

Friend: Do i get the leaf blower/vaccuum (comes without bag attachment), which is at least mildly practical considering I just spent an entire day raking backyard? Or, do I get the fucking CERAMIC POLAR BEAR, put it on my desk, and tell people "THIS IS THE BEST THING YOU GET FOR TEN FUCKING YEARS AT [CRAPPY COMPANY]"?

Me: It seems pointles to get a leaf blower without a bag attachment -- if you're going to suck up leaves, where do they go??!
Wait, you MUST send me a link to the ceramic polar bear.

Friend: http://www.boxofporcelain.com/Lladro/LladroPolarBears.htm It's the resting one.

Me: I like the "farting polar bear" better. Uh, I mean, the "attentive" polar bear.

Friend: How much is 45 pounds?

Me: About 70 bucks or so i guess?

Friend: People are nutfucks. I'm getting the polar bear out of spite.