Thursday, December 01, 2005

The person who wrote this probably makes more money than I do

And that makes me cry.

Back when I first went freelance, I was doing some travel writing, mainly for likes of Modern Bride, and my friend Paul, who was a travel writer for the WSJ at the time, passed along my name to all the PR flaks he knew. They put me on their lists so now every time they send out some press release begging journalists to come check out some "attraction" (i.e., the Poughkeepsie Sock Darning Museum, the World's Largest Bucket of Lard, etc.), I get it.

Usually I just throw them away instead of opening them, which inspires yawning, but today for some reason I opened one beckoning me to the Hoover Dam. I'm not sure which overeager 21-year-old advertising associate got their hands on this thing, but it was so bad it left my head spinning, as groans of a thousand child molesters in hell escaped my mouth. So now, for your enjoyment, I share it:

"Dear Erin,

There are some “dam” breathtaking sites to see in Vegas. One in particular that you’ll be sorry to miss is the Hoover Dam, the 726-foot concrete wonder located just outside the city. Who knew that concrete could be so “dam” exciting? You’ll have a “dam” good time as you explore the dam, and you’ll be “dam” impressed by the sheer magnitude of this Southern Nevada landmark.

Like everything in Vegas, options are key, which is why you can check out the dam from a bird’s eye view, a big-daddy hummer, a luxury SUV, or a big “dam” bus with prices ranging from $33 to $179 per person. And the folks at, who begin handling on-site ticketing for the dam on December 1, have laid out some tour specifics, because they give a “dam” about making your Hoover Dam tour the best you’ll have.

No matter which you choose, your personal tour guide will take you through all the “dam” in’s and out’s. All the guides are “dam” history experts – if you’ve got a “dam” question, they’ll have the “dam” answer. And some of the the land-based tours will take you beyond the “dam” concrete walls to some other local sites, like the Ethel M Chocolate Factory or off-roading through “Rainbow Canyon.” Whether you choose to go by land or by sky, you’ll be “dam” pleased that you booked your tour through

Please contact us if you’d like any more “dam” information.


Again, the sad thing is, Pamela probably makes three times what I do to sit around all day dreaming up this schlock. Sigh.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

The worst part is that she stole that from either Vegas Vacation or Beavis and Butthead Do America. I don't remember which one.

1:53 PM  

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