Tuesday, September 11, 2007

I'm in Ur Bed

Last night was a night like any other night. I got home from a long day of gym, work, errands, and laundry, and after talking to my parents, decided I needed to plug in my ailing, battery-weak phone.

I turned on the light in my bedroom, walked toward the outlet (which is on the far side of my bed), when I noticed a...creature....standing smack dab, proud, and huge on top of my pillow. Normally not afraid of bugs, this thing was so massive and gnarly that it took me by surprise and I let out a blood-curdling scream of the length and volume I normally save for rodent invaders.

This was no ordinary bug. This one was six -- possibly eight -- (and I am not exaggerating) inches long and had eyes so big and beady that I could see them from 10 feet away. I swore he was blinking at me. I think he even had...muscular legs. This was the Ben Johnson of bugs.

I ran to get a bag to capture him but soon realized that the mouth of grocery bag would not be big enough to successfully scoop him up. Verily, when I approached him with the bag, he TURNED HIS HEAD, looked at me, BLINKED with boredom, as if to say, "Oh yeah? What're you gonna do about it?" So I rummaged around and found a shoebox, trapped my prey, which was freakishly scuttling around inside the box, and scooted him outside where I tossed him as far as I could.

I'm not sure what it means that I found a preying mantis -- the bug that eats their mates' heads after copulation -- on my boyfriend's pillow. But, it did inspire to make this, my own little bug-y lolcat. Lolbug?


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