Sunday, January 07, 2007

Strange Personal of the Week

I like to read personals. I don't know why. I don't like to respond to them, and my forays into Internet dating have been alternately crushingly boring or alarming.

My favorite personals are in the New York Times on Sunday. They're all really quite sweet, posted mostly by older gentlemen, most of whom I imagine have moustaches, have sherry glasses in a cabinet at home, and wear old-fashioned hats. I guess they give me some hope that since I'm apparently not going to find Mister Right anytime soon, maybe by the time I'm in my mid-50s someone will be looking for a younger older woman of substance and I can finally respond to one of these things.

Usually the NYT ads are very genteel, men and women seeking out opera companions or someone who enjoys yachting and snifters of brandy. But today I came across one that was obviously posted but a man who has not yet, well, worked out all of his kinks in old age.

"Self Made Multi-Millionaire. Handsome, generous, athletic, 40s, 5'10'', 180, avid golfer, runs and works out daily. Seeking attractive, tall, blonde or redhead, 25-35, fitness instructor or dancer WITH MUSCULAR CALVES, for fun, romance and travel. NS."

I can do multiple sets of 240-pound calf raises and have red hair. Maybe I should reply. I see calf massages in my future.

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