Yeah, Yeah, the Ass Double's in the News

I'm posting this so everyone will please stop sending me this article in Slate about the ass double I ever so briefly dated (if you can even call it "dating"). It's too embarassing to link to specific posts I wrote about Luke Wilson's fill-in posterior, but you can peruse January if you want to subject yourself to my shameful neuroses over this worthless idiot, who nevertheless had the Perfect Ass. I'm tempted to run his full name here so as any future "Virginal Maiden" such as myself who runs across him, is asked out by him, and Googles him, will find my unfavorable report. But that just seems too petty.

My only thoughts about the Slate article: 1) Last year I said it would be my goal to write for either Slate or Salon at some point. This year, when I met Ass Double, I thought, "Gee, that would make a great story -- a day in the life of a professional Ass Double!" CRAP. However, I console myself that there probably would have been a conflict of interest there somewhere. (Editor to Schulte: "Why did you call the Ass Double 'The inconsiderate and self-centered prick' when you were describing how he interacted with Uma Thurman during the shoot? etc.) 2) At least they didn't quote him, further inflating his obviously already too-large ego.