A listicle

Things I am going to miss about New York:

My friends
My climbing wall and my church (my two “third places”)
Brooklyn
Fresh oysters
World-class restaurants
Snark
Rubbing shoulders with all the smart people
People who read. Read a lot
Endless options for live music
Being able to get drunk and take a subway or a cab home
No last call
Nonstop opportunities for fun, culture…and trouble
Free movies in Bryant Park
Newspaper stands, bodegas with resident cats
Watching the sailboats near Chelsea Piers
Watching the sunset from my roof over the Statue of Liberty
Walking through Carroll Park on my way to the subway and watching the kids run through the fountain
Old Italian men in wife-beaters smoking cigars on Court Street
My morning runs through Red Hook, Carroll Gardens, Brooklyn Heights and Dumbo, looking at the trees, flowers, dogs, architecture, and bridges
Italian ice windows
Being able to see every day, and easily get to, the ocean
The eternal adolescence of many adults

Things I am NOT going to miss about New York:

Rats on the subway tracks
Rats on the subway platforms
Mice in my house
Men who harass me on the street
The high cost of everything
The smelly garbage piles
The constant struggle to do even the most simple things
My roommate not emptying the dishwasher. Ever. (Even though I love him)
That it takes forever to get everywhere
That you have to go to six different stores instead of just one if you want to purchase shoelaces, milk, markers, a T-shirt, a box of Kleenex and new batteries
Public transit service interruptions
My dependence on the M14 bus
The traffic
The honking and car alarms
The starlings in my back yard
The homeless people who poop themselves on the train
The PIGEONS, dear God, I won’t miss the pigeons
A steep fourth-floor walkup
The eternal adolescence of many adults

Things I am looking forward to in Colorado:

Hiking
Mountains
Climbing
Camping
Fresh air
New restaurants
Making new friends
Seeing old friends
Spending time with my sister
A refreshing lack of overly self-aware hipsters
That last call exists
Being able to drive everywhere
A slower pace
That everything will be cheaper
Groundhogs, not mice

Things I am not looking forward to in Colorado:

A disturbing number of overly self-aware hippies
Having to drive everywhere
Chain restaurants and strip malls
Focus on the Family-style Christians
That last call exists
Suburbia
Cheesecake Factory
People who drive SUVs
Breeders

Things I am not looking forward to during my road trip:
(in 7 words):
Sixteen hundred miles of Clear Channel Radio
(Dear Lord, I pray that Clear Channel is no longer playing “Drops of Jupiter” 29 times a day, every day)

What would you miss/not miss about New York?