Monday, May 22, 2006

Update on Cancer, or, Final Disgusting Post of the Day

A few of you have asked for an update on my possible cancer.

Well, as much as I'd like to tell all of you that I have nothing more than an inflamed pimple on the indecribable area between the crease of my inner thigh and my you-know-what, I went in for a sonogram a couple weeks ago and frankly, folks, I've stumped the entire medical community!

When most people go in for their first sonogram (aka an ultrasound), it's because they have a bouncing little bundle of joy on the way. They get all excited, they bring the hubby, they get a picture printed out to bring home and hang on the fridge.

But for some reason, nobody wanted to come along for MY sonogram, and I surely didn't get a printout of my own bundle of joy, which is reported to be a "palpable subcutaneous complex collection,, measuring 2.1x0.3x0.5cm." Ooooh it looks just like a baby shrimp, can you already see its perfect tiny little hands and feet! Not.

So my doc calls me today and tells me I have to go throw my legs open for ANOTHER doctor. I haven't dropped my drawers for this many strangers since the "Slutty Era of Depression" of late 2004. Man.


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